I can't stop myself from thinking of what others consider it as useless. It's about this dilemma about how science forms philosophy or the other way around. And also its relation to theology, or in my campus term: Tauhid.
I have read several books talk about those thoughts separately. Because i'm still thinking that my pure judgement which is free of random judgements by each side; religion, science, and philosophy. Except that I've been studying Islam whole my life (and still not quite enough!) because some conditions surround me and because i need to since I'm a muslim. The fact that I haven't really into science, not that really, i understand though some stuffs, also so depressing. Math, Algebra, or Geometry are out of my league, and that's one of my three biggest regret. You see, i desperately want to see this universe's mystery and could see the relation with my belief. I've been so blind and want to open myself--- to some things only of course. I don't blame anyone who think it's ridiculous.
I have options though, one: i can just let it be and live a life without this devastating hesitate, curiosity, and anxiosity. Let it be THE secret and hidden in the black box forever. Maybe, just maybe... God will reveal to me one day.
Or two: i will continue reading and finding out , through experiences, books, seminars, or even Google and that is so pathetic because i don't have access to a greater source (except Quran for religion side). Not to mention I'm suck at Physics and Maths...
If only there's one thing that answer the ultimate question about this universe, life, and everything... like in that Douglas Arthur novel (which is still left unanswered). Or maybe... it's fairly a wrong question?
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