To Myself

Earl,

I know everything getting harder every day. I know how does it feel because I'm yourself. I know you're lonely and sad, how easily you feel down, how you really beg to someone loves you, I know it so well. We're part of one person. I'm your wise-side, and i've been trying to look into our lives in another point of view.
Sometimes, you think you want to run, or end up drop dead. You would regret that immediately and apologize to God and yourself. I think it's very natural when you're depressed and just wanna run away.
But you cannot.
Now I believe you have reached the conclusion that, even this world is getting harder to understand, you as a person, as a God's creature always have some choices. Remember, choice is what you are. You're totally free either to stop or keep going. To be happy or to be sad. To be alone or be with another person. To love or to be loved. To do it now, or later. As Jean Paul Sartre said, we're cursed to be free. Well, it's not really curse, actually. In the end it's Sartre's choice to think it as a curse. What about you?
I know you're a wonderful person. You have unique abilities. You're not too proud of yourself. Yes, sometimes you can be so damn coward (!), but it's because you don't want to hurt other's feeling. Haha, i know, it sounds like a hippy, a peace lover.
But in the end you need to show how you feel or what you think. I don't think you'll get embarrassed! It's really great to be blunt sometimes, right? All you need is the right time and place.
Life is really a wonderful thing. It really is! I love how you always want to respect it. You always want to respect life by respecting other people, by respecting other living creature and the nature itself. That's an amazing theory. We're part of life and we must respect and accept it. You will know how by always keep learning and never stop struggling. As you always say, one can do good deeds if he know how to do it.
Francis Beacon said: Knowledge is power. Well, it's true.
It's a power to make everything better. You and others.
So please don't stop keep on going. Be the person you are. Like Noel Gallagher said: you could only be what you are. Charles Darwin was wrong, right? (at least as what we believe, and that's what matters), there's no bad seed ever created by God. Everything is not perfect and we have to struggle together. That's life.
Life is not about to compete, it's about to work together.
It's an idea, which sounds more dignified.
If you have decided on something and you find out you are wrong, well it's WRONG. To err is human, right? You can always come back and start it all over. You only have to believe. A strong belief will always save you. Those who are in doubt are so vulnerable of bad influence.
Also please, don't ever think of God left you stuffs! He never in any nano-second left you, okay? He always watches every single thing in this world. You just have to keep that in mind, you'll never lose direction again. Remember, as Kierkegaard said, faith is like jumping over the cliff of rationality and feeling. That's why the believers are different from any other people. They have something to hold onto. They never alone.

Wipe out those tears and smile, you brat!
Read this everytime you let down!