Wasted Minds

I feel so much betrayed.

I'm a coward, I must admit. My so-called parents always get mad at me it makes me so anxious time after time. But this time, what's so bothers my mind is some basic philosophical questions i've had in my fucked mind all this time. These questions are so big i can't bear it any longer. Those things require new form of point of views and more clues to find the right answer, but can we really sure about anything at all?

At some point in my life, i want to close my eyes and keep going with my faith that has been with me since i was born. But later on, I will come back and think about that again deeply. It really horrifying, you know? Because I can't imagine how these matters can change me as person in the future. And my surroundings doesn't really help. I was born in such a religious family, I've been learning my religion since always... Never really understand about things outside that except a slightly reading from some books. My father is a jerk, my mother also jerk, my sister even more jerk. Me? I'm a fucking coward.

In this time, maybe I should really get going somewhere, I mean not stuck in one thought. I gotta read more about my religion and things that surround it. But I have to say that I'm still a believer deep inside. I just have to find the path to the pure faith, without any doubt again. I'm so tired of doubts.

...and so tired about people around me. They're scumbags. Especially my own family.