I can't really explain this, i only can tell i'm disappointed and mad, and when i'm in this state everything is fucking nonsense to me. Life, it's all nonsense. I want to figure it out only what i think it's my logic when it's in fact my anger. She thinks i need her, i don't fucking need her. There are so many people who is better and nicer and won't reject you to go into your home when you're soaking wet in the rain. She's not the only one in this world, i could make one instantly.
Maybe it's time to really let go of her. I should step out from this and give up the rescue. It's too little to late for me to help her. She's out of my league now. Physically, mentally, philosophically. All i can say to her if she was here is: goodbye and have a fucking jolly good life in this nonsense world.
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